Unfortunately, I’m a sick puppy who tends to laugh at others’ misfortune. As I teach the children, you always have to make sure no one is hurt first – because indeed that would not be funny. However if no one is hurt, I have this involuntary reflex that causes me to laugh when others fall down (or perhaps nearly get reared by a horse, etc.) BTW, my daughter told me that since old boy Mystic was lifting his front legs off the ground, he was “rearing up” and not bucking, as I earlier reported.

My youngest daughter told me that when she looked my way all she could see was me riding a mechanical bull. Had I known that image was the photo finish I was displaying I would have lifted one hand above my head, slapped on my chaps and yelled “Yeeeha” followed by “Get a dog… little longie.”

But what is not funny (okay, maybe it is a little) was my inability to get out of bed this morning. Woo doggies, I felt like I was run over by a truck. This forty-something mamma felt about 80 years old – and I venture to say I sounded like it too. Ooh, ahh, err, creek, rattle, crack and pop finished off by moan. My knees hurt like a big dog.

I don’t know if the stirrups weren’t quite right or if I didn’t have my feet positioned correctly or what but it feels like they were in vice grips all night long. And my ’sit bones’ well those took a lickin’ too. Okay perhaps poor choice of words there (I wish!) No they took a beating, how’s that?

So when people joke having a wild rendezvous’ the night before and they’re walking like they just got off a horse. Well, let’s just say that brings new meaning to the tongue and cheek phrase now. Can you say “walk gingerly”? Wowsa.

The outpouring of love and concern over this little mishap has been touching. My favorite cousin, Mark wanted to know if the horse was alright and when we could look for this prize winning episode on YouTube. There’s a reason relatives should live all the way across country! (Love you too, MB! LOL)

My buddy, Tara, said she was ROFLHAO. How special. And another dear friend said it was funny… but then quickly followed up with “but scary” (Thanks Michele, you’re a true pal).

No worries, it’s all good. I’m glad for the opportunity to create memories for my not yet born grandchildren some day (Note to DDs: grandchildren not to be born for a long, long, long time – got it?)

As I’ve always said, I take my business seriously; I take my responsibility to raise my girls seriously – but I definitely don’t take my self too seriously!

Next time I think I’ll stick to riding the Penny Horse at Meijer! (If you’re not familiar with the Meijer Penny Horse, check it out here.)

We brought our own bike helmets - the guide and the other two trailers - an 8 yo and a 20 something girl did not wear head gear. So the line up .. Guide, girl, woman, DD1, DD2 and me in the rear - the only one who’d not ridden before was the farthest away from the guide. I was given no instructions on what to do or what to look for.

My horse started bucking me off and I had no clue what to do. I yelped/screamed which made matters worse. Turns out Mystic had a horsefly on his ass. Course I didn’t know that; I didn’t know to look for that and since I was riding caboose, there was no one behind me to tell me that. So finally we get that under control but I’m still not liking the ride much because now I’m trying to spend half the ride looking behind me to ensure he doesn’t get another horsefly and start spazzing out again.

My knees and ass were killing me after about 45 minutes and I was not having the least bit of fun. Then in the middle of the woods with trees and mud everywhere, single file line, my horse started bucking and getting very agitated again. I freaked out. I know you’re supposed to remain calm, and the animal can tell if you’re tense, and don’t jerk and all that, but sorry I panicked. I was screaming and crying, horse is going crazy and from out in the back I see a FLASH of white and it’s DD2 on her horse that’s out of control and now cantering at what appeared 100 mph. I was still trying to get off my horse that was flailing all over. Meanwhile DD2 was going out of control about to be thrown airborne and hit a tree at any second. It’s safe to say I was in full blown panic at that point - mostly I’m sure due to my inability to help my young cub and fearful I was about to witness something horrific.

The guide climbed down and tried to tie off her horse and get DD2’s horse under control which was still going farther and farther into the woods away from us. I was still screaming, guide kept telling me to get my horse under control because she needed to get “the little girl.” I’m yelling “HOW? What do I do?” It was a blur.

Finally we both were able to get off and no one was hurt. My knees buckled under me and I was shaking like I was having a dang epileptic seizure. DD2 and I finally reunited into a huge embrace, the guide called back to the stable and they recommended we “get back on the horse and ride.” Our guide was wise enough to know that at that moment that would have been a horrible idea. My horse was still flailing while being tied up, there was no way I was about to get back on that big thing.

Another employee came out to where we were in the woods and fetched the two horses while DD2 and I walked back and were mostly fine by the time we reached the stables. The staff of the ranch were all very nice about it and felt badly. But we also knew going into it that the animals can be very unpredictable and that’s why I had to sign a waiver that acknowledged death was a possibility. Yikes, I should have taken that as a sign.

They figured that my horse was bothered by the flies and me spazzing just agitated him more, and DD2’s was likely stung by a bee and took off like a bat out of hell.

Funny, when we arrived up to the barn, one of the resident dogs, a black lab, came up from behind me and popped his head through my legs. I said “Now THIS is more my speed. Giddyup!”

On the way back home we stopped at a gas station to get some beverages. The total was $6.66. I looked at the clerk kinda funny and she said, “oh oh, this isn’t going to be a good day for you!” … Ya think?

Wowee. I think I have had my fill of horses. If I ever do that again, I think I’ll do it at the circus or a petting zoo where they’re hooked up like a merry go round

Also the NEW Fall/Winter Catalogs are here!  You can’t order from them until 1 September 2008, however if you would like to receive one in the mail contact me with your mailing address!

Discontinued Warmers

Daisy Dance
Mediterranean
Sports Zone (sold out)
Celestial
Sunburst
Porcelain Lace

Discontinued Fragrances

Coming Home
Orange Dreamsicle
Tahiti Pear
Cranberry Bread
Sizzlin’ Coconut
Vanilla Maple Pecan
Lime Sublime
Red Delicious
Meltaway Melon
Bamboo Sugar Cane
Sage and Sweet Grass
Vanilla Oak
Red Clover Tease
Velvet Spice
Awapuhi Seaberry
Bamboo Pear
Banana Flower
Bergamot and Tarragon
Green Mango
Lavendar Vanilla
Maui Mist
Mission Fig
Seaglass
Summer Sippin’
Tamarind Apricot

The following specials will be in effect right now:

1. Scent of the Month: Herb Garden  - Bring the soothing, natural scent of herbs indoors with the Scent of the Month, Herb Garden. Throughout history, fragrant herbs have been used to soothe, heal, and cheer us. Herb Garden combines the finest fragrant herbs together in one cool, smooth scent. Enjoy the pleasant fragrance featured this month at a scentsational 10% discount..

2. August Product Special: 10% off Everything Sale - Get ready for Fall with a 10% off sale of Scentsy! Includes all products in the Spring/Summer 2008 Catalog.

Stop by and stock up before your favorites are gone!

It’s playing this week as a show sponsor on WAHM Talk Radio.

Pretty nifty, eh?

Head over to my Scentsy webstore to place a secure online order.

The entrepreneur is not really interested in doing the work; He is interested in creating the way the company operates. In that regard, the entrepreneur is an inventor. He or she loves to invent, but does not love to manufacture or sell or distribute what he or she invents.
- Michael Gerber

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There’s a dozen on my cousin’s

I can hear the bastards buzzin’

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

Anyhoo - as long as we’re on the subject of mosquito bites, and well - ’tis the season for them, I thought I’d give you some remedies that can help with the insane itching. Did you know that the itching is caused by the little sucker’s spit? Yup, saliva - stinker hawked right into your leg. How nasty is that? Anyhoo, when the itchin’ starts to bug you, you could put on some oven mitts so as not to scratch or try one of these supposed remedies:

1. Baking soda and water paste
2. Rub with Soap
3. Apply ice (pack, washcloth)
4. Calamine Lotion
5. 1-percent hydrocortisone cream
6. Ibuprofen
7. Anti-histamine
8. Scotch tape on the bite
9. Hot water
10. Nail polish
11. Mouth wash
12. Strong tea mixed with rubbing alcohol
13. Vinegar
14. Honey
15. Meat tenderizer & water paste
16. Salt and water paste
17. Tums and water paste
18. Tooth paste
19. Orajel
20. Anbasol
21. Vicks Vapor Rub
22. Preparation H
23. Bag Balm
24. Gold Bond Medicated cream or powder
25. Mylanta
26. Tea tree oil
27. Lavender oil
28. Cedar oil
29. Witch hazel
30. Crushed Basil
31. Lemon juice/slice
32. Lime juice/slice

As for me … I just scratch. Hey, if you have an itch - scratch it!

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

There’s a dozen on my cousin’s

I can hear the bastards buzzin’

There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off

The Spoon Theory
by Christine Miserandino
www.butyoudontlooksick.com

My best friend and I were in the diner, talking. As usual, it was very late and we were eating French fries with gravy. Like normal girls our age, we spent a lot of time in the diner while in college, and most of the time we spent talking about boys, music or trivial things, that seemed very important at the time. We never got serious about anything in particular and spent most of our time laughing.

As I went to take some of my medicine with a snack as I usually did, she watched me with an awkward kind of stare, instead of continuing the conversation. She then asked me out of the blue what it felt like to have Lupus and be sick. I was shocked not only because she asked the random question, but also because I assumed she knew all there was to know about Lupus. She came to doctors with me, she saw me walk with a cane, and throw up in the bathroom. She had seen me cry in pain, what else was there to know?

I started to ramble on about pills, and aches and pains, but she kept pursuing, and didn’t seem satisfied with my answers. I was a little surprised as being my roommate in college and friend for years; I thought she already knew the medical definition of Lupus. Then she looked at me with a face every sick person knows well, the face of pure curiosity about something no one healthy can truly understand. She asked what it felt like, not physically, but what it felt like to be me, to be sick.

Continued at: www.butyoudontlooksick.com

I was out and about yesterday, doing the Mom’s taxi bit and suddenly I got a whiff of something, or of someone. Woo it made my eyes water. It reminded me yesteryear going into K-mart and instantly smelling their heavily onion-laden week-old hot dogs. Oohwee, that’s some stank.

I looked around to see who or what it could be. Nope, nothing within range. Then I had a horrid thought, “OMG, what if it’s ME! Could I possibly smell THAT stanky? Then I had to take inventory to see if I had taken a shower that day. I honestly can’t remember what the answer was, but I think it must have been that yes, in fact I did get on top of that hygiene deal because I was still pondering the origin of that odor. Whereas if it had been a no, I’d have a solid answer.

Then paranoia snuck in. What if it really was ME? How could I be sure? So I tried the coy personal funk test. First I turned my head to the right and slowly lowered my chin into my shoulder, trying to get a closer whiff of my arm pit. Sniff sniff. Sniffffff. Sniffff. Hmm. Still not sure.

Maybe another angle is better. So I took the collar of my t-shirt (yes I dressed up for that day of errands) and stretched it out and up around my nose – just as I’ve seen four year olds do. Chin down, breathe. Is it me? Crap, I still don’t know. It’s not like it’s obvious, but I still smell it, and I’m the only one here.

So what was left to do but try the Ed Sullivan both hands under pits then smell thee old fingers. I couldn’t help but start to speak in a ridiculous voice and say “really big shew”. Yes I realize I just ostracized half of my reading audience with that little reference. Kids, just Google it; then you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Well all that and I still wasn’t convinced that I was the odoriferous one. I only had one more trick up my sleeve to try. I decided that my neck was sore – ya, ya that’s it… that’s the ticket. My neck was sore, therefore I’d need to circle it around from left then down to right and repeat. Surely I’d be able to tell if that stank was wafting from moi.

It wasn’t very conclusive. The source still eludes me. You’d think that if indeed I was the ground zero of that pewee smell, I’d know it. But then again, if ’tweren’t me, then where oh where was it coming from?

Another one of life’s mysteries.

Hoo boy, sure is hot out there.