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Pantywear Man
By Laurie | January 22, 2008
I like going to the gym, specifically, the YMCA. No, I’m not one of those exercise buffs who’s addicted. I like to spar (Tae Kwon Do) so I can hit people. What a beautiful release! I only do it in a controlled environment and well padded up. There’s no need for you to fear me.
Even more than the physical exercise, I like the mental and spiritual exercise that takes place at the gym. I love watching people. I sometimes look at people and think “I wonder what her story is? I wonder if she gained all that weight from eating Ho-Hos or if her thyroid is out of whack? I wonder if she knows her fanny is eating her shorts?”
Walking on the treadmill is a great place and time to meditate and ponder the meaning of life. It’s somewhat of a weird deal though. If I keep my eyes open, I’m sometimes distracted with all the others who are walking, running, peddling and elipticaling around me.
However, if I close my eyes (my preferred creative position), then mercy, it’s hard to walk/jog with your eyes closed. Have you ever tried it? It’s doesn’t work so swell. I end up looking like a drunken sailor. Either that, or I end up flying off the end like the old Jetson’s episode “Jaaaaaaaane, stop this thing!”
Last night as I was walking through the free-weight area, I noticed (I couldn’t help but notice) a grandpa (perhaps great grandpa) walking toward me, headed to the locker room. Now before I tell you what I saw, know this is this the absolute truth. I did not embellish at all. This exercise aficionado was wearing his pantywear! Ya… I’m talking his UNDERWEAR. It didn’t just look like his pantywear, it was his undergarments.
He had on his tightie whities (actually it was gray Joe Boxers… but I really didn’t want to look that closely) and his ribbed undershirt. That’s it. Oh no, I forgot the Piece de Resistance. Along with his underlings, grandpa was wearing brown suede ankle boots!
My first reaction was “wow, look at this fruitcake”. But then I quickly thought about what I should be learning from this … this … scenery. I was blessed by this grandpa. I was reminded that:
1. Either I should pray for him, as he might be a little confused, or
2. I oughtta take a lesson from him, that he was comfortable with himself and was not concerned with the approval of man, and
3. Shame on me, I should be ashamed of Laurie for thinking more highly of myself with my attitude toward pantywear man.
I knew going into the gym to spar usually means that I will get hit hard. I usually think it will be an ax kick to the head or a jab, reverse punch. I did not anticipate getting hit with a self righteous conviction. Ouch! (But it was still very disturbing and a little bit funny!)
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