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There’s a Skeeter on my Peter
By Laurie | July 20, 2008
Every time I find a new mosquito bite, for some reason, I have to start singing “There’s a Skeeter on my Peter.” I don’t even have a peter, so I don’t know why that tune enters my head and crosses my lips - but it does. For those of you not familiar with that little ditty, it is sung to the tune if “If You’re Happy and You Know it” and goes like this:
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
- There’s a dozen on my cousin’s
- I can hear the bastards buzzin’
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
Anyhoo - as long as we’re on the subject of mosquito bites, and well - ’tis the season for them, I thought I’d give you some remedies that can help with the insane itching. Did you know that the itching is caused by the little sucker’s spit? Yup, saliva - stinker hawked right into your leg. How nasty is that? Anyhoo, when the itchin’ starts to bug you, you could put on some oven mitts so as not to scratch or try one of these supposed remedies:
- Baking soda and water paste
- Rub with Soap
- Apply ice (pack, washcloth)
- Calamine Lotion
- 1-percent hydrocortisone cream
- Ibuprofen
- Anti-histamine
- Scotch tape on the bite
- Hot water
- Nail polish
- Mouth wash
- Strong tea mixed with rubbing alcohol
- Vinegar
- Honey
- Meat tenderizer & water paste
- Salt and water paste
- Tums and water paste
- Tooth paste
- Orajel
- Anbasol
- Vicks Vapor Rub
- Preparation H
- Bag Balm
- Gold Bond Medicated cream or powder
- Mylanta
- Tea tree oil
- Lavender oil
- Cedar oil
- Witch hazel
- Crushed Basil
- Lemon juice/slice
- Lime juice/slice
As for me … I just scratch. Hey, if you have an itch - scratch it!
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
- There’s a dozen on my cousin’s
- I can hear the bastards buzzin’
- There’s a skeeter on my peter, knock it off
Topics: Ayers |