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Thinking of Joining a Gym?
By Laurie | December 27, 2007
What is wrong with people at the gym? No matter how hard they try to look cool, it just doesn’t work.
Shall we start in the locker room? Someone tell me how to be politically correct while talking to a naked person. I don’t know how. I can appreciate that we’re all women and we have God-given bodies and there is nothing to be ashamed of. But, please, can’t you put a towel on before you attempt to carry on a conversation with me?
It’s not like I can focus on what you’re saying. I’m a fully bona fide heterosexual female, but when someone’s high beams (or worse yet saggies) are staring at me, I CANNOT CONVERSE WITH YOU. ‘Can’t do it. It’s not cool.
And must you take your naked behind and sit squarely (or roundly for many) on the bench? Can’t you hop into your pantywear before sitting down? I know some fitness enthusiasts at least use a towel, but hey, those are community towels. I don’t’ really want to wipe my face on a towel you’ve been sitting on – bleach or no. I am serious. Be naked, be happy, but be considerate.
You really wanna chat about being not cool at the gym? Before I received my Black Belt, three times a week I participated in Tae Kwon Do. As part of the stretching exercises, we were instructed to lie on the floor, then take our feet and put them over/behind our head. This contortion stretched out our back muscles. No problem, right?
Realize that when we did this we are all laying there, hiney pointing up. Talk about assuming the position! Invariably, I would run into someone from school who is in the gym to sit on the side lines while little Jimmy he had T-ball. “Yes, hello Mary, why yes, I am smiling at you, nice to see you ……. upside down in this position with my booty sticking straight up in the air!!”
As if that little exercise wasn’t bad enough, there was more. We did countless kicks and stretches with our legs. You’ve seen karate people; the objective is to kick as high as you can (all the better to kick you in the head!). So it’s easy to see why we all ended up with wedgies. Always; everyday; everyone. Ok, I guess I can only speak for myself, but I did.
I never knew if I was supposed to throw caution to the wind and dig ‘em on out, or was I to just tolerate it? The guys sure didn’t seem to mind adjusting their cup, so what’s the big deal, right?
One day I decided to wear a thong to avoid the wedgie. I figured if they were going to end up there, I might as well just cut to the chase (and I do mean cut). But did you know that you can get a thong wedgie too? Not good. Not cool.
So while you’re making your New Year’s Resolutions - please think twice before joining a gym. There are certain things you really need to know up front. I hope I have been able to illustrate a few for you.
Topics: Ayers |