Laurie Ayers as Phyllis Diller delivers a funny eulogy to put the fun in your funeral, memorial, or celebration of life.
It’s a fitting way to send off your favorite Boomer or GenX-er. Amid the tears, there will be laughter. If those who will be attending the funeral, memorial, or celebration of life have a sense of humor, then read on.
Phyllis Diller Funny Funeral Eulogy FAQs
Who is Phyllis Diller?
If you’re unfamiliar with comedy legend, first female comedian to obtain worldwide success from 1955-2002, midcentury icon, Phyllis Diller, then I may not be the right person to deliver a eulogy for your funeral or celebration of life. Her one-liner style, laden with classic comedy likely won’t land well if most in attendance wouldn’t appreciate the references.
Will you/she do anything lewd or crude? Is it safe for grandchildren?
Phyllis Diller’s mid-century, classic comedy, may occasionally use innuendo, make more mature jokes, or jokes that may not be PC with all of today’s crowds, (no profanity) but it’s all in good fun, and no one should feel cringey about anything. If you need the content to be squeaky-clean or conservative, make sure you communicate that ahead of time so she can leave some of her classic material at home with Fang.
How long does the funny eulogy last?
A Phyllis Diller funny eulogy is usually approximately 15 minutes in length. It can be longer or shorter.
What kind of personal info about the guest of honor do you need?
Phyllis does best to customize each funny eulogy by incorporating personal info about you/your loved one into her eulogy. She works these tidbits in to make it feel much more personal. Information that works well includes nicknames, hobbies, quirks, funny anecdotes, inside jokes, likes, dislikes, anything they might be famous for, anything you want to honor or acknowledge them for, details about family life or pets, details about career, marriage, favorite sports teams, etc. Then she can work jokes into the eulogy. I have a form that can help guide you.
In addition to roasting the one who died, can you poke fun at family and friends?
Yes; but please ensure those who will be targeted have a sense of humor. I’ve been thrown out of a gig because the guests didn’t realize I was hired comedy and the client who hired me let them remove me. My goal is laughs, not vitriol.
You want to attend a funeral?
Let’s be clear, I don’t think anyone really wants to. Dying and taxes are the two things we cannot escape. No one gets out alive. I (me, Laurie) have been around death from an early age. My mom died of cancer when I was still a kid. My dad, all my grands, and other close relatives and friends have also all passed. I’m no stranger to this phase of life. I do believe in a higher power and that we will be reunited with our loved ones again. Sure, it’s hard to see the loved ones with broken hearts; I am a mush head, personally. And I am a professional when “it’s show time.”  If I can bring laughter in life, and in death, then I am happy to do so.
Phyllis Diller, the real one, was an only child, raised by older parents. Because of that, she attended way more funerals than most kids ever do. She also lived to be 95 years old and outlived three of her children and countless friends. She too was no stranger to funerals, memorials, and celebrations of life. It seems fitting that we (Laurie and Phyllis) be present at your funeral.
How much advance notice do I need to give to book?
Pre-planning your funeral, memorial, or celebration of life is best to give her a chance to write a descriptive funny eulogy. However, with so many dying unexpectedly today that’s not always possible; and it’ll still be great. Also, in addition to content, the more advance notice you give, the more likely she will be available for you. We do our absolute best to accommodate short notice bookings.
Can I take photos or video of her eulogy?
Selfies and pics at a funeral may not be the norm, but why not look back on this special day? Photos and video are definitely welcomed and appreciated. She’d would love for you to post them online and tag her @ThePhyllisDiller on Instagram and @ThePhyllisDiller on Facebook. You can also send them to her at lauriepayers @ gmail. com. Notwithstanding, rest assured, no identifying pics or video will be posted without your permission.
What cities and metro areas does Phyllis Diller serve?
Phyllis currently serves the Greater Grand Rapids Michigan area. If you’re outside this area it may still be possible to get a Phyllis Does Funerals eulogy. If your funeral, memorial, or celebration of life is held outside a 20-mile radius of 49428, a travel fee will be added of $2 per mile beyond 20 miles, with a minimum fee of $10. If you’re willing to book a flight and hotel for me, I will travel to most places.Â
What is the base fee for to have Phyllis Diller at my/our funeral, memorial, or celebration of life?
A local West Michigan funeral, memorial, or celebration of life appearance for Phyllis Diller to speak about the dearly departed and a short comedy set starts at $350. If you wish to have a personalized funny eulogy and include some light roasting, then plan on a $500 investment in your arrangement planning. *If applicable, travel fees extra, see above.
What form of payment is accepted?
A deposit of Cash, Venmo, PayPal, BuyMeACoffee.com, or check if it doesn’t bounce and people still use those, is due to hold the date; the balance is due prior to delivery of the funny eulogy at your funeral or celebration of life.
Do you have a Cancellation Policy?
Planning a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life isn’t exactly like planning a wedding with a specific date known. A Phyllis Diller funny eulogy is often needed on short notice, or plans change at the last minute. That goes with the territory. Laurie does her best to be flexible. Likewise, she is a professional and in demand. When Phyllis accepts a booking, she blocks her schedule, and that means that she isn’t available at that time for other bookings.
- With 48+ hours’ notice cancellation is possible, with no fee.
- With 24-48 hours’ notice a 50% cancellation fee to cancel. Pre-paid tips and travel fees are refunded.
- With less than 24 hours’ notice, you can reschedule for no fee for any time she is available, or cancel with no refund on the cost of the eulogy. Pre-paid tips and travel fees are refunded.
What guarantee do I have that she will show up?
Laurie Ayers has been a professional entertainer for over three decades. She wouldn’t have survived this long if she wasn’t professional and reliable. You can count on her to deliver.
On the very rare occasion (it’s never happened yet) that she can’t make it due to a car accident, a snowstorm, emergency, an illness, or other unexpected event, she will communicate as soon as is possible. You will, of course, be fully refunded and offered a FREE future booking for your next funeral or family gathering.
Laurie is also a wedding officiant and has never missed a wedding. These once-in-a-lifetime events don’t have an opportunity for a second chance. Let’s just say, she’ll be there come hell or highwater.
Why do you keep saying I, She, Phyllis, Laurie, We?
Confusing, isn’t it? How do you think I feel? Bottom line is it’s Laurie, being Phyllis Diller. When I become Phyllis, I channel her, and it’s as if she is here. The queen of comedy can’t be here in person since she passed August 20, 2012. I have been chosen by her to represent her.
How do I book or learn more? Contact me here.